So my healing process has been hampered – cause Ive been scared to move. No seriously.
My neck has been slowly but surely swelling to the point that I was feeling a choking sensation. I called the doctor and he said as long as I am not choking? It was normal. But it kept getting worse to the point I almost went to the hospital recently – dude it was scary.
Then I researched whats happening….I wasn’t moving. not at all. I was stuck, to the point that my excess….whatever swelling liquid is collecting in my neck….had no where to go. so it stayed by my incision causing that sensation.
So I started moving yesterday, a lot. It was uncomfortable. It was weird. But today? the swelling is down.
And that is when it hit me like a brick wall. God was trying to tell me something.
God doesnt always work like that – but 1? I’m a huge knucklehead and 2? This time … well it was.
You see previously I was trying to be a internet …. influencer? Is that the word?
Anyways, I was using all my social media – except my tiktok – to be about me getting attention. Cause it has to be all about me right?
God showed me that I need to move everything i have, am and will ever be to this ministry.
To be in full time ministry is something I have fought for years. Cause you know God holds people in ministry to a different scale of judgement in heaven – no. I dont know that for sure. its just what I was taught.
Now because of that? I fought this for years.
Y’all I cannot tell you how long I’ve fought this. but….
Here I am Lord……..use me. Please use me.