I just cant

Are there some times when you look around and you just cant? Like you literally “i just cant”?

No? just me?

Alrighty then.

But seriously though – going through all these medical problems causes me to take a step back and wonder. Like doing these devotionals and stories – how can i write? am I making sense? AM I doing this right? Is this what God has called me to do? Then comes the “I just cant” monster.

I just cant do this….

I’m not smart enough

I have no brain power

I’m too busy

I am talking about this wrong

I go through this whole list of things that proves to me that i literally cant do this. Heres the thing – that list? it is true. I cant do this. I am definitely not smart enough. I have no brain power. I am super busy. And i am probably talking about stuff wrong. Thats the point though – this is not of me. this is all God. God put this on my heart to do this ministry and He put very clear signs to me that this is what i need to be doing.

I am by far the most unskilled. the most impractical person to do this. All I do is share how God changed me. And I know He will continue to use me. No matter what as long as I am willing.

so here i am in all my unperfectness ….being me….being here cause God called me and I will answer.

And you? What did God call you to do?

For ^[k]you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many ^[l]noble, are called. ²⁷ But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; ²⁸ and the ^[m]base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, ²⁹ that no flesh should glory in His presence. ³⁰ But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption— ³¹ that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the Lord.”

1 Corinthians 1:26-31