driving

She was driving. Laughing. Enjoying time with her mom – feeling that freedom that only one can feel on the open road. Driving. What peace she used to get from driving. Everything felt right.

She always felt that peace from driving – even when she would race cars. It was her time. Her time to spend focusing on one thing and one thing only. It was great cause she knew the world then. She understood how people worked on the road, how they functioned never was a scare to her on the road. Why? Cause everyone had the same idea on the road. Get to their destination in one piece.

But this day was different. The smile faded as she realized how many cars were actually on the road driving. She realized how many ways she could die with her kids in the car with her. She realized that any choice she made meant life or death.

Fear gripped her heart. Suddenly things were too loud. too scary.

“I need to stop. I dont know whats happening. But I cant drive. Everyone is going too fast.”

“Ok. Ok, just pull over here. I’ll take over,” her mother responded carefully.

She pulled over to the scenic look over thing. She started shaking almost uncontrollably.

“I’m shaking. I cant stop”

“stop. stop the car. I got it from here,” her mother responded quickly. Unsure of what was happening.

They switched seats. she tried to make light of the situation, “that was weird. I wonder what happened?” she asked to no one in particular.

“Its those medicines you are taking. Maybe you shouldnt take them,” came the response.

She hated how no one supported her. She hated being alone – so she kept quiet. Knowing that the medicines were helping her. That the dark was finally subsiding. That she was finally able to function but she stayed quiet, praying she could continue driving.

cause that was the one place she knew she belonged.