I’ve been broken so many times I cant even count. I suffer from CPTSD from some major things. Mental and Verbal abuse mainly but someone did something to me that can never be undone.
I really dont want to talk about it but I am having a bad CPTSD day so why not.
I don’t know how old i was……I have only bits and pieces of my memory. But dude. These are things you don’t want to think a child went through. Okay I cant go beyond that or I will be a mess through the rest of the day.
So….this explains my attitude more right?
I don’t know. I am a psychologists dream – for reals folks.
Y’all this is really hard to write. Sorry gimme a moment……..
needed a dance break.
Okay…..here i am. Fighting.
Those things shaped me into who i am today….do i wish they never happened? Yup. 10000000000000000000% – theres not enough 0’s in the world to cover how much i wish it didnt happen.
But I know. I know in my heart that God allowed these things to happen to me for a purpose. So here I am Lord. fighting. Fighting for my relationship with You Lord.
I know Lord you didnt want this to happen to me. But Lord use me. Use me to help someone else who has gone through this.
Here I am Lord. Use me.