I have an eating disorder

Not shocking but i have an eating disorder. Not disordered eating. Orthorexia Nervousa its called – i believe. Dont quote me on that, still working this out. I was only gonna keep track on it with instagram – but someone reported me. So theres that – then I realized something.

Why was I posting it on there? Instagram is literally there for people to get attention. For people to look at me and give me the attention i craved. Yup. I was getting into that mindset again.

I’m glad to whoever reported me. Thats not the point of getting help.

Y’all? I cant with me.

Well, the point is I was getting into that legalistic mindset again!

I set boundaries. I set restrictions. I was not allowing myself grace or mercy. I was putting myself through the worst of it mentally because “this is how things are supposed to look” … I need to look a certain way and act a certain way to get and deserve love.

Friend? Thats not how God works. Therefore? Thats not how anything should work. I know I know fallen world but that shouldn’t be the way we live our lives.

Our God is kind and loving to us – why should we be any different to ourselves?

And why should we be any different in the way we act to each other?

Just saying – friend? We need to be more Christ-like.

⁵ Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, ⁶ who, being in the form of God, did not consider it ^[b]robbery to be equal with God, ⁷ but ^[c]made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 

Philippians 2:5-7