Yeah its not what you think its about….mental health and the church. Its not an angry post. not anything but the truth of a woman who tried to kill herself more times than she can count and how the church worked into that life.
I, 3000%, believe that mental health is medical issue. In certain cases. Like for example? Me. After my daughter was born; i developed a serious case of postpartum psychosis. My brain literally broke people. I was hearing voices. I was seeing things……we’ll leave it at that.
I was in hell. Literal hell. I knew there was something wrong with me and yet no one wanted to help me. Until I tried to kill myself the last time. No. Not that no one wanted to help – its just that they didn’t know. They didn’t understand how to help me. I pushed people away – even my husband because I “knew” he wouldn’t understand. And he didn’t. How can I explain that I didn’t trust myself to be alone? But then, I didn’t try to help him understand.
Some thought I was demon possessed. (See Romans 8:30-39 for an example why that couldn’t have happened.)
Some thought I just didn’t have enough faith. (I had a true conversion at the age 16)
Some thought I didn’t care about my family. (This is a false belief that many hold about people that suffer from depression/anxiety, its not that we don’t care. Its that we care so much we don’t know how to handle. So the enemy uses that to attack us saying we are not meant to be around our family.)
These are all things people in the church told me. I don’t fault them but I do wish they thought better before saying these things about me….to me.
I have never felt so alone – so thats when I turned to twitter. Facebook support groups. People who I thought understood. They did to a degree – and God bless them because they majorly changed my life. But not the way you think.
I started to turn away from God. I started hating church. I didn’t want to read my bible – cause I knew God just didn’t understand.
I told my pastor after my last attempt what happened and he urged me to go talk to my psychiatrist.
No one understood what damage that would do to me. How could they?
There needs to be more of a conversation about mental health in the church. Its a real thing. We as a church need to understand that the enemy is attacking in every single way possible. Especially in our mind. Dulling our minds with these ideas …. of defiance of medical help in a mental health situation.
But sometimes? what we need to do as a church is sit. Listen. Pray. Dont know how to pray for that person? ASK God. Literally pray: “God show me how to pray for…(Insert name of person here)…”
God will show you. and he will guide you on how to minister to that person. Again, some people need meds. Some people are so broken they cant function without meds … dont judge those people. Just pray.
God calls us to pray for each other. this is why.