Masking is par for the course

In psychology the definition of Masking: deliberate act of hiding or masking one stimming quality to appear normal. So in essence, people who are (in our case) neurodivergent find themselves hiding a stim (hand shaking, mouth movements, odd dance like movements) to appear “normal” to others. Par for the course right? Change who God made you be so that everyone else can feel okay right?

Or something like that. totally not bitter about that.

You see I identify as autistic. Makes my entire life make sense – well me more specifically. I’ve always had to hide who I was because I didn’t want to hear those hateful words: “why are you so weird”

People have always confused me. Even my family. I’ve talked about how my brother was accepting – but that was always to a degree.

My parents have always loved me but I know they never understood me. At all.

The first time I heard your weird was from my mom. Nah. Wait. I remember. It was from a blonde haired boy in my elementary school.

Then I heard it from my mom and thought it must be true.

So I would hide those qualities that made people say that.

which lead me to not truly understanding relationships. I would always end up doing what others wanted. I know this added fuel on the fire of the struggles I going through with guys.

But it not only translated to my relationship with guys but with everyone.

Friends would use and abuse me – cause I never realized who I was in Christ.

26 For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 3:26

I always tell my kids: do you know who you are? A child of God. So therefore if God loves you enough to make you His child? You must be pretty special.

I also tell them as I tell you my brothers and sisters: You are a child of God. A child of the creator of this universe. Dont ever say you are not special. Dont ever say you are not….anything. God made you as you are. He thought this world needed you – you. Not anyone else but you. You are loved and pretty special.