I know. You are not alone. I see you there my friend, making those changes. Striving to be a better person. A better Christian. Don’t give up because God sees you too.
He saw you first. He has always seen you. In that pain, in that suffering.
Please know this fact: He did not want that to happen to you. At all. Not at all.
He cries. He sees you and He cries that you are going through this.
He hates this so much for you.
Do not let Satan win the battle in your mind. Jesus loves you. Oh so so much. He’s there just waiting. Just waiting for you.
He’s waiting for you to turn to Him in your pain. He is waiting for you to reach out to Him. He’s a patient, loving, kind God.
He won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.
Call upon Him.
My friend. Please know you are loved. Do not give up. Ever. You are loved.