a time

we are going through a time here. its not fun. In fact i have never felt more helpless and overwhelmed than I do now. so much so that as i sit here listening to my calming music list (music therapy) and writing – i am having a minor panic attack. writing helps me a lot….so here we are

I dont want to share much about this but i do want to share what I am learning. as yall know ive been learning more and more – im not in control and i do need to be a servant

i hate it so much.

I hate that i have no control over this situation and it just reminds – this brings along other things. Which i hate even more. Fear. thats what it is.

I am so scared of the future – we know i have anxiety issues.

And i know God will get me through like He always has – but here i am freaking out.

I think thats what we need to remember right? Things are gonna be insurmountable…things will be crazy….scary….too much for us to handle. Thats when we commit it over to God right?

Someone told me – its part of life.

and thats true, if you think about it? we are not gonna have an easy life. Cause if our lives are way easy – we don’t turn to Him. We won’t seek help from the only person who can give it to us – God.

So Lord thank you for all i’ve learned – i’m not there yet for thanking for the trials. But I am grateful i am learning how to lean on you more.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

And lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways acknowledge Him,

And He shall [b]direct your paths.

PRoverbs 3:5-6

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