For real?!

People don’t do what I want and it’s really annoying. No for real. why can’t people do what I want?! It’s not fair. This world would be such an easier place to live in – if everyone just listened to me. Right? Wait – thats not how this works?

no for real. Sometimes i just get so mad cause people dont do what i want. And my husband calls me out on it constantly. Did I mention how much I hate it when he’s right?

Ya see I’ve been going through this ……. control thing. You may have heard something about that … a time or 5. But with the trauma i went through – i needed to control. I needed that control so that I can know whats happening so i can be prepared.

I dont know why but i need to control.

This past year has been hard for us. My daughter. Me. Something happened with my son and husband too. sigh. I mean yeah – thats a part of life but how can i control those uncontrollable situations?

Yeah – I know. Trust God.

I know. Believe me I know. It has been ingrained in me since I can remember! But time after time when God didnt do exactly what I wanted …… well we know how that turned out. So i learned to control.

I know I talked about this before – but recently this whole learning opportunity God is giving me to trust Him? Is getting harder. Its getting to the point where – i dont wanna anymore.

Yeah I did just say that. God forgive me but its true.

Trusting is ridiculously difficult.

God forgive me for trying to take control. For getting upset when people dont do what I want. For not trusting you. I commit these situations to you and ask that you would use me for your glory. I trust you. I commit our lives to you Lord.

³ You will keep him in perfect peace,

Whose mind is stayed on You,

Because he trusts in You.

⁴ Trust in the Lord forever,

For in Yah, the Lord, is ^[b]everlasting strength.

Isaiah 26:3-4