For real?!

People don’t do what I want and it’s really annoying. No for real. why can’t people do what I want?! It’s not fair. This world would be such an easier place to live in – if everyone just listened to me. Right? Wait – thats not how this works?

no for real. Sometimes i just get so mad cause people dont do what i want. And my husband calls me out on it constantly. Did I mention how much I hate it when he’s right?

Ya see I’ve been going through this ……. control thing. You may have heard something about that … a time or 5. But with the trauma i went through – i needed to control. I needed that control so that I can know whats happening so i can be prepared.

I dont know why but i need to control.

This past year has been hard for us. My daughter. Me. Something happened with my son and husband too. sigh. I mean yeah – thats a part of life but how can i control those uncontrollable situations?

Yeah – I know. Trust God.

I know. Believe me I know. It has been ingrained in me since I can remember! But time after time when God didnt do exactly what I wanted …… well we know how that turned out. So i learned to control.

I know I talked about this before – but recently this whole learning opportunity God is giving me to trust Him? Is getting harder. Its getting to the point where – i dont wanna anymore.

Yeah I did just say that. God forgive me but its true.

Trusting is ridiculously difficult.

God forgive me for trying to take control. For getting upset when people dont do what I want. For not trusting you. I commit these situations to you and ask that you would use me for your glory. I trust you. I commit our lives to you Lord.

You will keep him in perfect peace,

Whose mind is stayed on You,

Because he trusts in You.

Trust in the Lord forever,

For in Yah, the Lord, is [b]everlasting strength.

Isaiah 26:3-4

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