Loving the unlovable

loving the unlovable is something that God has been trying to teach me for years. Maybe preparation for the teen years? Maybe preparation for full time ministry? I dont know. What I do know? Its a freaking hard lesson to learn. For real folks.

No words can describe how much I hate this lesson – and we all know I’m knucklehead to lessons. But this is the worst. You see as a former people pleaser – i am trying to learn the difference between doing what God calls us to do (see 1 John 4:7-21) and how God wants us to go about that (see Matthew 10:5-15)

I just see – God wants us to be servants by any mean possible and I need to do that….by any means possible. Which is probably why I have so many issues with learning this lesson. Like person A comes and I need to be there for them cause well God has called me to that (even if He really didnt) cause I need to be a servant – who cares if person A doesn’t really want me around them. They are gonna get me as a servant!

Wait….

Heres a specific example: theres this person who came to me asking for help with something recently and i helped them. Then they dropped me like a bad habit. This is nothing unusual for them – they are a use and abuse type. But instead of me following Matthew 10 (moving on and not letting it bother me) – i kept going back to that person looking for something to do for them. I was treated horribly….I was ostracized…I was….well you get the drift.

I was being treated like a slave.

I dont know – maybe i needed some sort of validation or something. I dont know.

But thats not what God calls us to do right?

God definitely does not want me to ignore my family. put a detriment to my health – AND my relationship with Him to help out others right?

I heard this podcast today from Revive Our Hearts. It was talking about making our relationship with God – whatever time we can make – precious. Cause its your time with Him right? Our relationship with God is what matters most isn’t it? Not being that slave. He wants us to love by being a servant. Not by being treated like garbage.

Be that servant – but be a servant – NOT a slave.

 Let a man so consider us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. ² Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful. 

1 Corinthians 4:1-2