Hello and welcome to emotional eaters anonymous. Okay … I don’t know how to continue with this. But moving on….remember how I told you that my thyroid levels were finally stabilizing and I was feeling all the feelings? Yeah … this is not fun.
Apparently? I’ve been feeling lonely and when I feel lonely? I eat – hence my eating disorder.
its been a road of …….. realization?
Well….I am at a place where I am realizing how I cope with these situations. A trauma response? I dont know. What I do know is I am realizing.
It is realization!
Anyhow. What was I saying.
I’m lonely. Quite honestly all my life? I’ve felt lonely. No one understood me or tried to … okay. Exaggeration but those who did try just ended up frustrated and hurting me more. hence the lonely feeling.
I have tried and tried to fill that loneliness with so many things – not a shining moment. And most recently? Its come to bite me in the butt – I share a lot but I ain’t going there.
yeah a lot of GiFs here – feeling the feelings yall.
The thing is – in these moments of extreme loneliness? And being unable to take a pill or eat a food – I am finally turning to the one who can fill that need.
Cause there is nothing better than our God. Nothing can fill that hole in your heart the way that God can ya know? I am learning – still in my emotions and hating every.single.second. But I am learning: I only need God.