Approval

I sent a message to someone the other day .. just to vent and I got a speech. And to yet another person, did the same. Got the same reaction. Y’all I wasn’t looking for approval just some sympathy. Then it hit me – wasn’t that just looking for approval?

I have always been a people pleaser – always looking for people to like me.

To get them to agree with me.

to approve of me.

Yea …. that hit hard too.

I don’t know why I always look to get approval and validation from people. It honestly pisses me off. In my head i’m all: “I don’t care what people think. I don’t need you to like me…” and so on. But sometimes? In my heart? I’m the girl screaming: “please validate me”

Maybe cause i have always been the weird one – and want people to finally understand me. I dont know. I honestly dont understand.

But you know what i am finally getting?

Only God wants to hear my complaints.

I was literally about to go on twitter and start the conversation but i stopped myself with that thought: I should only complain to God.

Not that I shouldn’t but really – I already know the truth. In fact in both situations, I knew the truth. I just wanted to complain.

God forgive me for being a whiner …. there. Thats it. I just like to whine.

But back to what I was saying….

There will be sucky times where people … just fail your “ideals” of them. The point is not to complain about them and their faults but to look to God and love them like God loves them.

There thats what sucks – why? Simple answer: people suck.

Big time.

But no matter how much we suck and fail each other – imagine how much more we fail God and He still loves us and is patient with us. The least we can do is try to be the same – right?

I’ll let you know.

11 Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.

James 5:11

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