Yes. Yes. I know. My whole blog is all about trust. Well sorry but not sorry. It’s what I’m learning. Sorry for the sass – I’m tired and in pain and I’m nervous.
We are traveling tomorrow to locations and timings unknown. No literally unknown. Ok. Maybe not all the locations – I might be a little dramatic cause well. Timing is important to me.
People who deal with my … anxiety levels thrive on a schedule. Thrive. It’s helped a lot with my sons autism and my daughters ADHD issues too actually.
Anyways … I totally lost my train of thought. Oh yeah. Traveling.
So we are traveling and changing everyone’s schedule. One of the locations? My kids are excited about. The others? Serious anxiety. Which causes me anxiety. I don’t know much to alleviate their fears which causes me to fear which causes them to fear…
Get where I’m going with this?
Recently I realized a certain trial we were going through wasn’t a trial at all: it was me screwing up. No seriously if only I had truly committed it to the Lord? We probably wouldn’t have gone through that or maybe not as long. If only I had trusted…
So I’m sitting here frustrated. Cause I learned my lesson – but not really ya know? I’m trying to trust the Lord but I keep hearing those evil little words: what if…?
This trusting thing is hard. Lord. I can’t do this. Help me please.