So much

There just so much of what I want to say. I’m having a bad flare up due to stress – assuming there. I literally have no idea what is happening to my body right now.

I excused myself from dinner cause … well I just didn’t feel right. My back hurt, I’m weak, exhausted, emotionally drained.

We had our memorial service for my grandma this week. Family has been in town. It’s nice to see them and be blessed but after a while? It’s emotionally draining.

Then possibly cause of the stress of not being able to mourn properly – I need to attend to visiting family and my immediate family in a kind Christian manner of course – that I’m now suffering from a flare up of some sorts.

I don’t know where I left y’all but this bought of exhaustion is getting worse. Again probably from stress but still too much for me.

I excused myself from the table cause I had enough. My body was screaming for my bed. I legitimately had barely enough strength to get into bed – when I had more housework to do.

God this is freaking hard. I feel like such a failure as a human. Guide me please.

Im trying to cry here and I can’t cause my kids are about to walk in and if they see me cry they freak out….being a special needs mom is hard. Especially as a Spoonie.

God. Help me please.

A bruised reed He will not break,

And smoking flax He will not quench;

He will bring forth justice for truth.

Isaiah 42:3

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