Okay okay

Okay. Okay. Bear with me as I weave a story of my … sorry bad brain fog moment. What was I saying?

….

….

My symptoms! Okay. Okay. Okay. Sorry OCD moment there – I legit still wanna say okay but we are pushing through

Okay. Ugh.

I’ve been weak, tired, dizzy, then I realized I have a highly salty diet and doctors have never said anything about it (quick recap). But here’s the thing: I did the worst thing possible and asked google.

Apparently, well it’s a lot of different things it could be. I get fitted for a heart monitor in the middle of June. I get an appointment for a geneticist in November. And I know I’m gonna keep pushing for answers that are not “you’re getting old” or “you have menopause”.

But in the meantime? All that info I looked up and all the researched I have done? Is increased my anxiety levels. Now when I feel dizzy I’m all “holy crap I need water … but I can’t have too much water cause I’m probably ruining my kidneys … but I need water cause that’s the only thing that makes me feel better … plus I need something salty .. which is not…”

See where I’m going?

I wish I had all the answers. I wish I knew what has been happening to me. But I know God has a plan. Do I wish things would hurry up already?

But I know. The thing I’m learning? Not trying to know it all at once cause didn’t God say we couldn’t handle it?

For in much wisdom is much grief,

And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.

Ecclesiastes 1:18