Third time

I wanna be mad. I am struggling with the thoughts “does God really love me?” I’m struggling with anger but mostly I’m defeated.

Well the exterminator is now scheduled for a third time … I have now prepped my house twice to no avail. Twice y’all and? I still wasn’t prepared enough.

Had my crying session, let myself think those thoughts. Then I realized: God does love me.

I didn’t have the right equipment twice. I didn’t have a way to leave while the fumes were too powerful. I wasn’t prepared and God saved me.

Lord, please forgive me for these thoughts. please forgive me for my anger and blasphemy and all that. Thank you Lord for protecting me despite my foolish actions. Thank you Lord for always being there and providing and protecting me. I praise you Lord for you are the mighty, powerful, kind creator of all. I commit this next appointment to you and ask that you would prepare us properly and let us have the right equipment before the appointment time. I thank you for keeping these creatures out and I ask that you would please continue to keep them out of our house Lord. Thank you for your love and guidance.