Lord Jesus I’m frustrated

I just got back from the last cardiologist appointment and the results? I’m normal. Lord Jesus I’m frustrated.

I knew .. I knew he was full of crap when he said: “do you think you can trigger an episode?” I have dysautonomia. The literal definition is a dysfunction of the AUTONOMIC nervous system. But I went along.

Then he told me: it was anxiety. It’s all anxiety. I showed him my Apple Watch results last time and today? He actually told me that I needed to use the watch more.

Just so you know? I totally walked out on him. So. That’s about how I’m feeling.

Lord … Lord … I’m so tired. I’m in so much pain. I’m so tired of the fluctuations. I’m so tired of being sick. I’m so so so so so frustrated. Please forgive me for my anger and doubt. I know you have a plan and I commit my health to you. Please grant me wisdom on what steps to take next. Who should I see .. Where I should go. I commit all this to you. I thank you Lord for your continual strength cause I couldn’t do this without you. I praise you my mighty King for you are so good and faithful. I know you will get me through this,