Ok ok I’m finally learning

I got great news! I’m finally learning to let go of control. Ok ok … I still am a huge knucklehead but im learning.

What can I say? I’m a work in progress. But I’m learning.

So I had a horrible appointment with my last cardiologist and I was set on not going to another – medical ptsd is rough to deal with as a Spoonie. Then something the last doctor suggested to me – I did.

The Apple Watch has an ekg feature. He said every time I feel weird to do an ekg. So I did. I’m not an expert but I have been doing my ekg on the watch regularly because of my previous doctor – just not necessarily when I have an episode. So I did for a few days.

It … it’s not bad but it’s not my normal. So I made another appointment. I see a different doctor with a different medical office this week. I really don’t want to go but I know I need to trust God and let Him do His job.

So I know I can’t control what the doctor says or does but I can trust and hope in God.

Lord I commit this appointment to you. I’m scared. I’m worried. But I know you never run out on me, I know you want what’s best for me. So I know I got to do my part. I praise you and thank you for your great love. Please forgive me for my fear and doubt. Again I commit this appointment to you. I praise you my Lord no matter what.

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