Well here we are again..

So yeah. Well .. saw the cardiologist. She was rude .. very short with me .. but she ordered more tests. She listened .. but she didn’t seem .. I don’t know. I’m doubting. So well … here we are .. again. Waiting. Trusting in God. Being patient.

I am gonna have a holter monitor placed tomorrow. I’m having an echo and stress test again. Do I believe anything will show? Nope. As I sit here recovering from mopping (my heart rate hit 168) .. I am doubting. I struggle to put on my clothes .. I was out of breath showering … but I don’t think it’ll make a difference.

Oh Lord help me please. God please forgive me. Please forgive me for doubting & my fears. I commit this to you and ask not my will but your will be done. I commit these appointments and tests to you. I ask Lord for your mercy and grace. Please go before me and help me get on the medicines I need to stabilize my heart. I thank you Lord for your grace that has been getting me through every day…every second of those days. I praise you for you are good and you are always there for me. Thank you Lord for being you.