The God who sees

El Roi means the God who sees…but does he see me?

I went through this awesome book about the names of God. This one always stuck out to me cause I always dealt with – not being seen.

Especially going through this .. whatever you want to call my health journey .. I feel constantly unseen.

We have visitors. I’m overwhelmed and overstimulated and in such immense pain I could cry. So I went upstairs.

So here I am .. alone.

Seems to be my lot. To be alone. All I want is to be seen .. maybe that’s what God is trying to weed out of me. My need for attention.

I don’t know. All I know is I miss my life. I miss being full of energy. I miss being able to hold conversations and … i miss me

Lord please forgive me for my selfishness. I commit this all to you and thank you for seeing me. Thank you for always being there for me. I commit my all to you Lord. I commit this feeling of loneliness into your hands and look only to you to fulfill my needs. I love you Lord