Ugh

So im still recovering from surgery. Its a pain to sit here and not do anything. ugh. I hate this so much.

For real.

My family – God bless them – has been stepping up big time. Showing the glory of the Lord through it all but this is difficult. Sitting here and letting other people do what I need to do? It doesnt seem fair.

As you can tell I’m a go getter person.

I honestly dont know where that comes from – most of the time I let others take lead.

Maybe a trauma response. Maybe not. Dont know. not the point. The point? Well thats easy – the point? Is I get to see God.

Everyone has been such a blessing

You see in my “busyness”? I dont see that. I’m too busy going “ugh why am I the only one?”

Like theres been a chore that no one has done for a bit and im going crazy. But i keep hearing the Lord say: shhhhhhh.

Ever feel that? The world around you is going all crazy fast and you feel like you need to catch up? Like “crap this is happening to her….I need to get to that point.”

Nah friend.

Thats not how this works.

What we should be doing? sitting back and letting God do what He needs to. Which is definitely not going to go according to our plans. Its His plans.

Man. That was rough to write.

Waiting and trusting God. Man. Seems so simple right? But it ain’t. and you know what? It takes time. Its gonna take a lot of time trusting and looking to Him. Which is no problem as long as you keep trying.

Here I am 40 and I’m still learning that.

³¹ As for God, His way is perfect;

The word of the Lord is proven;

He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

2 Samuel 22:31