Let this be a warning fer ya

Y’all … it’s been a week. Dude such a week. One thing piled on another. Let this be a warning fer ya: you don’t know. Just when you think you know? Ha. You don’t.

I don’t even know what day this is – I wrote this ahead of time. But I think it’s only Tuesday. I thought I had this whole trial with my health figured out. I thought the stomach issues were done – I thought the exhaustion was done. I thought ..: I thought … but the enemy had other plans.

I have been kicked and beat down by the enemy. Let’s start with my daughter downloading a something to her homeschool computer that has a virus. I know nothing about computers – I had a great brother to help thank God. This same child is hitting her preteens hard ….

I hafta remember she’s just growing before I let my crazy bear out. It’s harder than you think – especially since I’m on this stomach reset and I can’t eat chocolate.

I could go on, but y’all? The best part? My husband is crazy busy at his job. So most of the responsibilities have been on my shoulders. Oh and I didn’t even mention that my meds are helping but if I don’t divide my meds in the right way? I can feel like crap.

That’s what happens when you have weird amounts. Wish these companies would get with the fact that spoonies are not all created the same. You would think that would be included somewhere. Anywhere

I’m tired and frustrated y’all. Feeling very much alone. But I gotta say? Even in my foolishness? God has been there. Encouraging me and blessing me. Like with my brother helping me with the computer – y’all I was floored that he even offered to help. Then my daughter – well that’s just gonna be a long journey. But God is providing the grace thankfully. I’m frustrated with my meds but I’m grateful to have more good days ya know?

My point? There are a lot of days when panic sets in. Depression comes knocking. The loneliness attempts to convince me … anything. Fear takes over and doubt and all those things but in those moments? I am finding myself reaching out to God more.

And? He’s picking me up and getting me through. Thank you Lord for loving me and helping me.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9