Certain things don’t always come out the way you plan.
Ha. Who am I kidding? Nothing comes out the way we planned does it?
The point is? To keep trying to keep pushing right?
That was a big lesson for me recently. I was about 340 lbs and not at all where I wanted to be. I wanted to be skinny and sexy and fun. I wanted to look a certain way because that was what I was taught.
By society and by….well others. I remember the last time I was offensively called fat (there were many times after this but this … stood out). I had just lost about 50lbs and madly in love with my husband. I was then told that my husband was gonna leave me because I was gonna get fat again.
That idea started in our marriage. So I went on the offensive. The ole “oh I will show these people” … didnt work. From the time we were married til after my daughter was born I gained 120ish pounds. That was a span of about 4years…give or take.
I dont know what lit a fire under my butt – but I started getting healthy. No actually my goal was: “lose weight so my husband can love me.”
Which didn’t need to happen cause he loved me unconditionally.
Anyways, I started focusing on weight and losing it to get sexy. I started good then all of a sudden? I couldnt lose the weight and I was sick constantly. Constantly. everything I was eating was making me sick.
I was scared I had some form of incurable disease. I was leaving my kids and my husband. And he was gonna remarry someone younger and sexier than me.
I just had to get to that goal weight. That would fix everything.
Then? I hit 40. It was like….a light went off. Boom you knucklehead – that crap doesn’t matter.
I started to see me the way God wanted me to be seen. As loved.
I started concentrating on God letting everything go to the wayside and you know what? things got better. I found out i had celiac disease and IBS. I found a way to manage both. I found peace at the size and weight I was at and started concentrating on being the example God wanted me to be.
Friend. Are you finding that things arent going the way you want? That things are just getting to overwhelming? I just ask you one thing…….
Are you concentrating on things? Or on God?